"Daddy, you said..."

When we moved to Jacksonville, our four children ranged in ages from elementary school kids to babies in diapers.  And, as a young family, we were always on the lookout for cheap (free?) family-friendly activities for weekend adventures. Hello, Atlantic Ocean.

It was an easy 20 minutes from our house on the Southside to the beach. So, we often enjoyed Saturday morning trips to the beach. These jaunts usually included a picnic, sand castles, and splashing in the tidal pools. Collecting seashells was always an optional activity.

One week, after planning a Saturday morning beach trip, we had to cancel our plans on the morning of the proposed journey to the shore. As I recall it, the weather was rainy and windy, not exactly kid-friendly conditions.

Obviously, our kids were disappointed – they had been looking forward to the promise of making sand castles and running through water. But, we had no choice but to cancel.

As we sat at the kitchen table that morning to break the sad news, I made the paternal pronouncement, “Kids, we can’t go to the beach today.”

Silence. Then our 7 year old looked up at me, with wide eyes and a scrunched up brow, and said, “But daddy, you said.”

Going to Church

Does God really care about your address? Does he really have a preference for where you live?  Or does he have more important things to worry about in running the universe than your zip code or house number? 

Here’s a story that demonstrates how God arranged the address of a church building and an apartment complex, just to help a refugee family find a new life.

The church is Main Street Baptist, and the apartment is University Gardens; they’re one mile apart, easy walking distance for the Rafutos.

The Rafutos left everything they had known as “home” to escape the violence of civil war in their homeland of the Congo. They were given a temporary home in a refugee camp in neighboring Tanzania. And after 17 years of living in that camp, they resettled in the U.S. through the work of World Relief. 

While living in the refugee camp, they joined a mission church, and found friends in a worshipping community in the midst of an uncertain future and a dangerous lifestyle.

A Refugee helps his mom

It was time to leave Jacksonville and move to Charlotte. Thomas’ uncle works as a doctor up in Charlotte, and has some good leads for a better job there.

It’s a struggle for Refugees, like Thomas, to find employment that offers a living wage. Actually, that’s a struggle that too many Americans can relate to, right?  But it’s especially distressing for Thomas because, before he and his family had to flee their homeland, they enjoyed a stable life in a family business. Civil war erupted; they were targeted by their country’s army simply because of their ethnicity; they literally fled for their lives. 

In Jacksonville, Thomas and his family found friends and a fresh start. There are three school-aged sisters and his single mom to look after in Thomas’ household. 

As is often the case with Refugees, after arriving in the US, they will locate relatives from their homeland or friends from their Refugee Camp. But connecting with them often requires moving to a new city. Thomas’ plan was to move in with his uncle, and wire money to his mom each week. It’s a plan that often works well for families in need.

It was a sad day saying goodbye to my friend. But I had confidence that his plan would serve his family well. My confidence was bolstered when he wanted to make sure that I knew he had saved up three months rent for his mom; that she had the money in a safe place; that she would need some help figuring out how to pay their rent after he left town.

A Refugee and his first job

90 Days

The United States offers financial support for Refugees during the first 90 days after their arrival. They have three months to settle into housing, learn English, find employment, and become basically self-sufficient. This financial aid covers the simplest physical needs – food, shelter, clothing. It’s based on formulas and allocations determined by committees and agencies. It’s a well-developed process. 

But learning how to navigate through American culture is not a process that can be guided merely by formulas or committees. It happens “in the trenches” of doing life. Being a World Relief “Good Neighbor Team” means standing with our refugee families as they learn how to live daily life in America – how to engage life “in the trenches.” This involves helping them learn how to do basic things like paying utility bills, shopping for groceries, finding a bus route … and most recently, cashing their first paycheck.

Just one week after his arrival, Samuel quickly found a job with a local landscaping company. It seemed like God’s amazing provision for him and his family. Working in landscaping seemed like a perfect match. Samuel is physically strong, loves the outdoors, and wants to study agriculture. This job (his first job in America) seemed like a God-given opportunity, especially since this company had hired many other refugees through a local Refugee service agency.

No pay! No pay!

But after a couple weeks, Samuel called me. “No pay! No pay!”  I couldn’t understand what Samuel was trying to tell me in his broken English.  But he was obviously upset about not getting paid, so I encouraged Samuel that the first paycheck might take some time to be processed for a new employee. Hang in there. It’ll come.

Refugees and the bus stop

“Over the past 40 years of being married to a pastor, we’ve seen God do amazing things in our church. Miracles. Provision. Blessings. But it just seems that God really shows up, or shows off, when we reach out to refugees. We’ve seen this happen over these past 25 years of working with refugees.”

Words spoken by the director of our local sponsoring refugee program. She often tells people that God seems to do his most amazing stuff when refugees need him.

And that includes when a refugee teen needs to find her bus to school.

Young Latti needed to learn how to catch her 6:00 AM bus to her new high school. Latti does not know English. Latti has never ridden a school bus. In fact, she has never ridden any bus. Busses weren’t part of her refugee camp experience. But she needed to ride the 6:00 AM bus to school – bus number 450. Add “finding the bus” to the long list of New Things to Learn as a Refugee.

I arrived at their apartment at 5:30 in the darkness of a winter morning. As a “good neighbor team” member, I wanted to help her on her first day of school. So, Latti and her 20 year old brother, Samuel, and I headed out her door, and down the street in search of bus 450.

After walking along the dark sidewalk of University Boulevard for 15 minutes, we came to where the school website indicated bus 450 should arrive. Still, I had a sinking feeling. It just felt like we were in the wrong place. By this time, it was 5:50.

Across the street, we could see a group of teens huddled together, each with a book bag and ear plugs. Could they be waiting for bus 450? So, across the street I jogged, and winsomely but tentatively asked, “Hey guys, is this the place where bus 450 will stop? I’m helping a new student find her way to school.”  They paused, blank stares. 

Refugees with names and stories

Martha Rafuto (not her real name) is a single mother of 5 children, ages 5-20. She is a refugee from the Congo. She is also a “political widow.”

In the Congo, she married a man who already had one wife. Polygamy is a legal custom in her culture. As his second wife, Martha gave Mr. Rafuto five children over two decades of marriage. They lived on a family farm, growing maze and raising chickens. When war broke out, the whole family was ripped from their homeland. 

She and her husband, and his other wife, and all their children, had to flee for their lives – literally dodging bullets. They found safety in a UN Refugee camp in neighboring Tanzania.

When the family registered as legal refugees, the UN told Mr. Rafuto that he had to choose one wife, that he couldn't have two wives and be a legal UN supported refugee. So, he chose wife #1. And Martha became a single mom. She lost her home. She lost her farm. And she lost her husband. 

The Celtic Way of Evangelism

The Celtic Way of Evangelism

George Hunter, in his research for his book, The Celtic Way of Evangelism, saw a theme in the spiritual story of Christians he interviewed. They felt they belonged and were loved and were valued before they believed in Christ. After experiencing life with Christians, they realized they too believed. Then, as a public expression of that belief, they were baptized or confirmed. 

Hunter documents how the United Bible Societies in England actually quantified this in their research. They found that all 511 Christian converts in their study had had similar conversion experiences. They first experienced friendship and community from Christ-followers, and their personal decisions to become Christians took time. 

Jesus tells us to make disciples and to teach them, but we tend to morph those commands together. We act as if teaching is how we make disciples. In reality, making disciples requires doing and being the church together, and, along the way, teaching one another the truths of the Scripture. Many have said, “Faith is about three-fourths caught, and one-fourth taught.”